The Beast In Me
by Nos482reborn
Summary: they say music soothes the savage beast.. so Beast Boy has been trying to use various music to try to calm his inner beast but will even music help when Raven gets hurt on a mission? Rating may go up later!
1. Chapter 1

-1The Beast In Me

By Nos482 Reborn

Disclaimer I don't own Teen Titans these songs or anything of the sort

Beast Boy laid on his top bunk with head phones on his foot tapping to the beat.. Most people would never of guessed he was a Johnny Cash fan and until he had found this C.D. he probably wouldn't of been before this he was thinking country music was about a bunch of hillbillies getting drunk.. But on an odd chance while in a music store this song had been playing and it got him hooked…

_**The beast in me  
Is caged by frail and fragile bars**_

_Oh your telling me Johnny_.  
_**Restless by day  
And by night rants and rages at the stars  
God help the beast in me**_

_**  
**there were times when he just wanted to change into the beast and just run on some deserted Island or forest to feel free living so close to the city made his animal instincts uncomfortable his senses on constant assault from lights, pollution, hell even the noise of the cars could drive him nuts. _

_**  
The beast in me  
Has had to learn to live with pain  
And how to shelter from the rain**_

_I had started to turn to the Beast to help me get through the pain of the darker memories of the past, shifting into the painful gargantuan form. Helping to shelter his sadness when he felt most like crying it would be consumed in the rush of his primal state. _

_**  
And in the twinkling of an eye  
Might have to be restrained  
God help the beast in me**_

_it was whenever she was in danger that he would lose control of it. Murderous rage filling him like a flood. And like a flood the beast unleashed was destructive to anything in its way.. Friend, foe, anything in between.. _

Sometimes it tries to kid me  
That it's just a teddy bear 

_sometimes it would try to prompt him into a change acting like it just wanted to play like a cub.. Trying to act as if it could do no harm _

_**And even somehow manage to vanish in the air  
And that is when I must beware**_

_The worst moments where when he didn't feel the beasts presence at all this was the most dangerous moment.. Cause if he let his guard down the assault on his mind would be a thousand times worse than normal. _

_**  
Of the beast in me that everybody knows  
They've seen him out dressed in my clothes  
Patently unclear It it's New York or New Year**_

_There was a notable difference if it did manage to get control on him. Sometimes it was like it was Him but didn't know what was going on or not acting right.**  
God help the beast in me  
**all he knew was one thing if this made him more like a man as Raven said he would accept the consequences of having **The beast in me.. **_

as the song ended he pulled off the headphones just as the Titan alarm went off.. Cracking his neck like a fighter all he could think was _"god help anyone who wakes the beast in me!" _


	2. Chapter 3

A/N Hey All It's Nos482 Reborn Here I'm sorry I've fallen into this bad habit of taking so long of updating.. I am currently going back to college so I'm having almost no free time for writing anymore.. that and I just managed to get over a writing block the size of MT. Everest this will be the third chapter as I'm still doing some brush ups of the second, I will submit it ASAP though I'm not sure of what song I should do for the second chapter maybe some Reviewers would be willing to offer some ideas?

Staring at his hands.. there was no blood left..but he knew what he had done.. he couldn't stay with the titans.. not after this.. not after the last time.. he couldn't return home to the doom patrol.. he had nowhere but he couldn't stay here.. walking out the door with only a duffel bag over his shoulder filled with clothes, and a few other necessities he makes one final stop to Raven's room pulling out a piece of paper he begins to write.. his final farewell

In this farewell  
There's no blood  
There's no Alibi  
'Cause I've Drawn Regret  
From the truth  
Of a Thousand Lies

Raven, I am sorry I couldn't say good bye in person.. but I'm sure you will understand when the truth comes to light, I could tell you a thousand lies about how I'm doing this for a nobler reason.. but I just cannot face myself in the mirror anymore.. not after What I've done.. Robin would never understand. He would just think the worst of me as always.. just know for now that I am not lying when I say I would do anything for you,

Perhaps someday you will hear from me again If I can ever Let go of what I've done.. know no matter what Robin, Star, or Cy think of me.. I am no longer a boy.. and I am too beast to call myself a man.. yours in heart and soul Garfield M. Logan P.S. if they ever calm down tell Cy I'm sorry about stealing his rings.. I needed them As you once told me.. "What Secret Identity, you're green."

So let Mercy Come  
And Wash Away

As he walks out the door the storm that had building most of the night finally struck with a downfall as if the angels were crying.. He should of known better he kept telling himself.. he knew how dangerous allowing the beast loose could be, it didn't matter that at the time he was filled with rage.. as he slipped on the rings he adjusted it until he was content with his "new" face. Shifting into a familiar form of a peregrine falcon he grips the duffel bag in his feet as he flies off into the unknown.. the rain hiding his tears as he flew.

At a crack of thunder Raven wakes with her head bandaged looking around her room as the thunder cracks around her she reaches for her light almost missing the sheet of paper looking at the hastily drawn scribble.. she didn't even have to look to the signature to know who it was from.. within an instant her breath catches in her throat.. "no.. he couldn't have.." as she gets up she thinks to herself "if this is one of his pranks in bad taste I am never talking to that tofu eating bastard again!"

[Chorus]  
what i`ve Done  
I've faced myself  
To Cross out what I've Become  
Erase Myself  
And let Go of What I've done

Put to rest  
What you Thought of Me  
While I clean this Slate  
With the Hands of Uncertainty

So let Mercy Come  
And Wash Away

what i`ve Done  
I've faced myself  
To Cross out what I've Become  
Erase Myself  
And let Go of What I've done

As she blasts the door open with her powers.. she falls to her knees.. black tendrils of energy were blasting through her destroying Beast Boy's Room.. soon enough the others were awake as she collapses in a surge of black energy filled with grief, anger, and sorrow..

From a cave just in sight of the tower a young man was stirring a fire when he sees a black wave encase the tower to form into a familiar pattern.. he closes his eyes brushing aside tears.. "someday I will make it up to you Raven.. For everything I've done.. I just hope you can forgive me.."

For What I've Done  
I start again  
And whatever pain may come  
Today this ends  
I'm Forgiving What I've Done

A few weeks later, the young man remembered what it was like to be homeless.. to have to steal when he needed too.. clothes.. food, sometimes even money.. his careful Vegan diet was a memory, Ethics about a lot of things were a luxury when it came to survival.. and if there was any benefit to having a beast in him.. it made him an excellent survivor.. and in this kind of environment he would need it.. far as he could make his arms flap from any cities.. or towns, forest as far as the eye could see.. and as far as any reminders of what he had done as he could.

what i`ve Done  
I've faced myself  
To Cross out what I've Become  
Erase Myself  
And let Go of What I've done

As he gets on all fours forgetting his humanity, forgetting his regrets his very existence he becomes a familiar animal.. one of his favorites the wolf, howling out his frustrations and loneliness before he runs and joins the echoing chorus's .. He just hoped someday he could forgive himself for what he had done.. and that Raven could as well if he ever returned

What I've Done  
Forgiving What I've Done..

To Be Continued….


	3. Chapter 4

Somewhere north of Jump city Raven was sighing as she looked out the window of a cheap hotel room.. eight weeks.. he had been gone.. he had to be out there somewhere, she knew he loved her.. but she also knew that He was afraid of what the others would think of what he had done..

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight

Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Staring up at the sky in a forest clearing beast boy sighs these last few months he had missed raven terribly.. he had missed everyone.. but Raven especially He wondered if she was looking up at this same sky thinking of him..

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer

That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are

It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

A shooting star shoots by both wishing for the same thing.. to see each other again.. even if it was only in their dreams.. the wind blowing softly a lonesome sound..

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby

It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

In The morning Raven popped on the radio of the rental car she had gotten, a soft duet was playing, it was hard for her not to cry as she just kept driving north.. the only tip she had found reliable was some hiker ranting about finding a green wolf running around in this nature preserve

Somewhere out there if love can see us through

Then we'll be together somewhere out there

Out where dreams come true

As he leans against a tree not too far from the highway he wishes absently that one of the cars held her, looking up at the clear night before slipping back to the safety of the wild.

And even though I know how very far apart we are

It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby

It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

As she was driving the night must have been playing tricks on her as she thought she saw a flash of green for just a moment and then it was gone. She didn't know which she wanted to do more kiss him in relief or throttle him for making her worry so much if she found him safe. When she corrected herself When..

Somewhere out there if love can see us through

Then we'll be together somewhere out there

Out where dreams come true


End file.
